The Challenge of School

Ah, yes. Today is the first day of my period. I am tired, my thighs and shins feels like the muscles within them have been replaced with led. The Block woke up at 4.47 in the greatest mood, the mood was ace, the time was not. I asked him to fetch himself some breakfast, he did and ate it in my bedroom on the floor as he didn’t want to sit on his own. Husband is on camp and The Bean told me that he would stab me in the leg with a sword if he had one. When I pointed out it wasn’t nice, he said; ‘Sorry, I won’t do it again!’ AGAIN? How about not doing it?

Tuesday afternoon I had a chat with Blockie’s teacher. He is being disruptive in class and proclaiming that the tasks are boring. Furthermore, he is pronouncing, that he doesn’t need to learn, as he knows it all anyway. He’s a smartass, no one likes a smartass. Also, I mean, he doesn’t know it all. Obvs!

The boy has got so much energy. He can’t sit still. He can’t follow instructions, but he is smart, loving and has got such an amazing imagination. I want him to love to learn, his teacher wants him to love learning, so why doesn’t he? Whenever I look at him and/or the students at our school it makes me think of a TedTalk I watched, Sir Ken Robinson talking about how “schools killing creativity”. Are we? He believes that “our education system is predicated on the idea of academic ability” – which is true. Especially in Asia. Here the tops subjects are Science and Maths because the most prestigious surely must be law, medicine, science or any job really where you earn money. Being rich is being successful, which is prestigious. Ken Robinson talks about how ‘academic ability’ has really come to dominate our view of intelligence because the universities designed the system in their image. This makes me so incredibly sad and not how one measures intelligence, but instead diligence – “If you think of it, the whole system of public education around the world is a protracted process of university entrance. And the consequence is that many highly talented, brilliant, creative people think they’re not, because the thing they were good at school wasn’t valued, or was actually stigmatised”. I am currently sitting in a classroom, observing the year 12’s while they are researching universities. They are looking to study the before mentioned, law, science, and medicine. It’s a group of 10. They dedicate so much work to their studies and goals, which comes from where? Themselves? I doubt it! I know that there are some strong parent forces behind their choices.

Blockie wants to be an adventurer.  He also wants to be a scientist. He want’s to be so many things. I just want him to be happy and love learning. And I want him to be a child.

Oh the mess!!

I do not know what I am going to do when we decide to move back to Europe (hopefully Denmark, Husband!). Our beloved part-time cleaner and babysitter extraordinaire is away. For a month! This means I have had to clean my own house, do my own laundry etc full-time rather than part-time… Can you believe it? Our house is a mess at the moment. And the thing is… I cannot get myself to do much about it – when I get home from work, I want to have fun with the kids – play and cook dinner, not clean. When they are in bed, I want to chill out and attempt to binge watch series and then fall asleep on the sofa. HOWEVER, I do also have some standards. Believe it or not. I don’t actually like a messy house. I prefer things organised and tidy, but I am totally and utterly unable to achieve this, which leads me back to before mentioned dilemma. What will I do when we return? As it stands, I know Betty will return to me and order will be restored in our current household. But oh dear, what about households to come?

Something about something new!

So. Today. Beano grew up. Sort off. Basically he started nursery and considering Blockie was 2 when he started, sending my 15 month old seems huge! He waved and sent my kisses as I, as if I was in slow motion, staggered out. No tears (from him) – just a smile and a wave. For the next 4 1/2 hours (he started out with a “short” day) I kept looking at my phone, drinking 3 cups of coffee and was actually quite productive. Maybe because I knew that I wouldn’t be working for long today – I wrote 5 pages and started reading an article about taking notes – I also managed to have a chat to someone about a killer moth with a peg and meeting douchebags with ukeles! So productive day indeed!

At the moment I am sitting with the two Blocklings, watching Sarah & Duck, Beano has just woken up. We are starting our art session in 11 minutes – creating art work for Blockie’s nursery teacher! 

The art of peeing without farting….

…. When you need a poo!! 

That is something I have taught myself. Also not to give into the poo! See, I have a real problem with public toilets. Being on a train station or a school. I like peace and quiet, taking my time and being on my own (something that has been challenged through the years as a mother!). But I am also a morning poo’er, preferably before my shower! Sometimes I just won’t make it. Not as in I poo my pants!! No! As in getting my business sorted before work! So I will then be stuck at work all day, needing a poo and not wanting to go. It is silly, I know… None the less… I just can’t!

I have one of my busiest days today! Full of observations and needing to give feedback to teachers. And the youngest Bean, grazed me with his sunny personality wake-up at 3.20 and utterly refused to go back to sleep! Cheers, dude! Fortunately BBC Earth was showing a program about killer snails, so I was well sorted………………….. 

Sunday city jungle walk & mosquitos

  
I love living in Malaysia, love living in Kuala Lumpur. The food is amazing (which is what I always reply when the taxi drivers asks me if I like it here) – I love the food, how versatile it is and how versatile the city is in general! There is so much to see and do, both with and without kids. 

Yesterday, while Husband was working, the boys and I went to Bukit Nanas near KL Tower for a jungle and Canopy walk. Blockie walked 4.5 kilometres – the force is strong in him! Unfortunately Block is really susceptible to mosquito bites and dengue fever is rife in urban areas. It freaks me out, but it freaks my husband out even more. Before going out yesterday I must have sprayed the boys at least three times with different types of mosquitos repellents and for someone who tries to eat all organic and steers away from products filled with shit, it feels SO wrong to be spraying the boys with, let’s face it, poison. And somehow Block still ended up with at least 8 bites! Could also be the red flying ants.. I feel so sorry for him. I don’t get bite at all – must be a blood type thing! 

After the walk we came back and the Blocks passed out, the biggest slept for 3 hours and Beano for 2 (and I slept for 1 hour…) Nice and needed! Everyone was in a much better mood when we woke up and it dawned on me just how much I need my sleep. I am a much better and more patient mother when I have slept. Blockie and I really bounce of each other, not always in a good way, especially when we haven’t slept. I forget to be the adult and he is being exactly what he is, an almost four year old. Not always a great combo. But when we’ve both slept – we are an awesome team! 

Coming to an end….

I have been absolutely shit at writing and updating lately. New country et all.. So I thought I’ll do a sum up of 2015 – because really, it has been utterly nuts! 

In January Husband got a job as a History teacher in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and then got “upgraded” to Head of History and MUN. This meant that, once again, I had to move country, not with one baby, but a baby AND a three year old. But first I had to pack a whole house of mess down, oh and finish my exams for my masters, oh and give birth. 

 On the 5th of February, I finished my last exams and officially went on maternity, on the 8th I celebrated the Block’s third birthday with a big birthday party. On the 16th Beano was born, two days early and early in the morning. Beautiful birth, if there is such thing. But after the Block’s birth (which left me looking like I had been fingered by Freddy Krüger), a two hour labour from start to finish is a bloody beautiful birth. I woke up Monday morning with a twang and twinge. Thought about taking a shower, but thought not to, as I was going to give birth in water, it would be silly. Went down and started to listen to my “contraction playlist” oh, yes, I had one of those, whilst rocking on my ball. Then the twings and twangs started biting a little bit more, so I chose to wake up the Husband. He made me a cup of tea and called our friend to look after Block. Out in the car, back in the house with a jacket for Block, back into the car, chase a cat out, start driving and at 7am , we were at the midwife led  birthing centre. It was seriously hurting now, but I felt in control, up the stairs, surprised midwife starts to run pool, water breaks in loo. Not going in pool, up on all four on the bed and 7.28 Beano was born. Beautiful. 

  
 

So that’s just January and February. Months passing, getting used to having a baby in the family. Beano is super chilled and lovely, feeds well, sleeps well and slowly the house is looking more and more empty, meanwhile Husband is trying to sort out getting buy-to-let and all that boring stuff, however boring stuff can be pretty stressful stuff. 

   

In May we all go to Denmark to say goodbye to my family for an unforeseeable time.  

 

July and we have finally sorted almost everything out. Saying goodbye to lovely Frome and great friends proving to be a little hard.

…. And now it is my 30th birthday. Wow. How did that happen? Pool party it is. Seemed to the only good weather day. Lucky. Farewell party as well!! 
  
Then Tuscany with Husbands family, delicious.

 

  
August the 5th – we are officially moving. Car fully packed to go to the airport. Three big suitcases and four pieces of hand luggage, a buggy, two kids and us. And then I get a phone call about my dad having been in a terrible motorcycle accident. That day. Right there. Foot out of the door to move myself and my whole family to Malaysia.  He was alive, but his left leg totally crushed and he lost ALOT of blood.  He was going in to surgery. To go or not to go?  At the airport I got a call, the surgery went well, but all of his left leg had been amputated. He tells me to go. Not the ideal way to start a new adventure. 

Dubai – 24 hours, speaking to dad – he is in good spirit.

Kuala Lumpur – and so the adventure begins. 

First month is spent finding a place to live and getting used to the heat. Eating awesome food and seeing temples. Both kids are doing well. KL is proving to be a very interesting place to be. We find a fantastic apartment, with minimalistic interior and awaits our stuff. Block starts school and the school bus picks him up every day. He seems like such a big boy. Beano is clapping and sitting and is still very happy, sleeping not so well anymore.. Teeth are coming. 

   

Blockie is swimming!

   

Then came the haze. Not something we were anticipating. A lot of time is spent indoors and suddenly it becomes okay to ride your scooter around the house. Turtle lairs are built. Beano is crawling. Unorthodox method. By now I am getting serious cabin fever. KL has lost a little bit of its charm. Beano keeps getting ill, has to go on a nepuliser. Half term. We go to Cambodia for 6 days and see Angkor Wat and have an amazing time. Everything is beautiful there, the people, the place, the blue sky, and the temples. Magical. That is why we moved. To get experiences like that! We fly back and enter KL and a continuing haze. I feel deflated. Husband and I talk about it. If  Beano gets ill again, the boys and I will go to Denmark. By this time the we are told that haze might last till February. Beano gets ill again. 

14 hour flight to Heathrow. 3 hours wait . 2 hours to Copenhagen. Denmark. On my own for a month with two boys. Beano does not sleep well anymore. He has got four teeth and two more on the way. He is suffering. How ever, I am in Denmark and I am hanging out with with all of my severly missed  friends and I love it. Haze disappeared a day after we left. Sod’s law. Husband is missing us. After a month in DK with friends and family, back to Southeast Asia it is and despite a small fright, thinking that flight was cancelled, it is  changed with a 6 hours wait in Heatrow. At first, a bit of a bugger, but then Husband’s mum, dad and sister + beautiful daughter came to see us and all is well!

Back in KL. Sky is blue and beautiful. Beano is cruising and walking with a walker. It is December. Christmas is coming. I stocked up with Danish Christmas treats in DK. Trip to Thailand discussed. Blockie is saying no, he has had enough of the travelling, fair enough. We are enjoying KL. Spending time with some seriously lovely people here. We go to Batu Caves, cookery courses for the Block, The Botanical Gardens. A silly Nisse came from Denmark and turned the house upside down. Husband is on Christmas holiday. 

 

The ugliest Christmas tree in Asia

  

Nissen has been & done naughty things

 

And here we are. After Christmas. Not yet in 2016.  Parents-in-laws been and gone – to Blockie’s great enjoyment. We’ve had a lovely Christmas. Danish and English. Eating turkey, ris ala Mande, feeding the homeless, going to Out of Africa for steaks and met Asian Father Christmas.

New years eve was held in the name of the kids and mexicansk food is consumed. 10 kids and 9 adults – Blockie had a blast, of course! Stayed up to watch fireworks.

But today, the 1st of January 2016, it’s just been us. Family day. Eating left overs.  Watching James Bond, mummy and daddy that is, while the Blocks were napping. They needed rest. We needed rest. What a year it has been. Bring on 2016 – finishing a Masters (by writing a dissertation), turning one and four, having great Fromies visiting in February, getting a job (for me) and hopefully lots of, lots of travelling for us. 

Merry Christmas from an unexpected housewife in Malasia and happy New Year. 

       
   

 

Clingy baby & homesick threenager

I am currently lying in bed with a 7 month baby attached to my boob. My phone is smashed and I am listening to a podcast. I am tired, very very tired. Baby is teething. Or going through some sort of developmental stage. He is clingy and he wants to be close to his mummy.

At the moment life in KL is slowly, slowly starting to feel more normal. Although our shipping still hasn’t arrived and we still do not have Internet or TV. So not that normal yet! The Block is very defiant, ears have somehow stopped working and he keeps talking about Frome. And I partly blame the fact that our flat still doesn’t entirely feel like a home. I want to get a rug, a piano and bookcase and a bunkbed for Blokie’s room! I need my pictures on the wall and my cushions on the sofa! I am a homemaker and I am beginning to think that Blockie is like me. He needs his surroundings to be cosy and homey! When the shipping arrives – that will happen and when Internet and TV is up and going – he can watch Cbeebies! Hopefully then he will really feel more normal and for that reason also go back to normal. My little Blockie.

Baby Blockling has got two teeth. He spins around and rolls to get stuff. He claps and smiles all the time – he is so super sweet. During the day. Because my goodness, the nights! Oh the nights! I don’t have more than two hours in stretch. I am knackered! He cries and whinges. He arch his back and is generally unhappy. It is all about bouncing and swinging.
I forgot about this stage. This baby stage. And was not prepared for the stage the three year old’s hearing being so selective. Crickey! Feel like a very tired, sour mother at the moment.

Monday.

That morning. Monday. After a weekend of guests. Where the house looks like utter shit. Where washing is piling up. It is raining, so there’s no chance of hanging laundry out. There’s boxes everywhere. The floor needs a clean. The dishwasher needs emptying. The child needs a poo. Then attempts to wipe his own bottom. Toilet, hands and sink now needs a clean. More washing. Baby is tired. Husband forgot to empty the bin, where the binbag has broken. 

I do not know where to start. There’s so much! Monday. 

Being married

Husband just told me that he thinks I am quite hard on him at times. The reason for this was because I suggested we made the living room into a space of quiet reflexion. He talks a lot. I just need peace at times. He said, I am just an upbeat guy and I said, yeah, if upbeat is a synonym for annoying. Maybe I am a little hard on him at times. But he is quite annoying. 

The transformation of a sweet little boy

(Dedicated to a fellow mum stuck in Cornwall – “I hear ya, girlfriend!”)

Once upon a time there was a beautiful little boy. He lived with his mum and dad and even though he at times would question their methods, he seemed to trust everything they did, though not always behaving, he was a sweet little boy. Around the boy’s third birthday, a change started happening. He had noticed how his mother had gotten increasingly fat over the last nine months and he couldn’t seem but notice that her sudden obesity had reached climax. She now looked like she was about to pop. Which she did 6 days after his birthday and although he had been explained, he couldn’t quite believe that a baby brother had arrived. He loved his baby brother, he kissed him and hugged him, but he wasn’t allowed to play with him or lift him, nothing fun. He felt cross with his mother. All she did was sit in the sofa with a boob in his brother’s mouth, when they went out, the brother had to come too. His father had been at home with him the last two weeks, but suddenly went back to work and didn’t come back till bedtime. All of their fun times together stopped. The little boy started transforming. Like Bruce Banner. There was a rage inside of him, which he couldn’t explain. He turned green. He had gotten Hulkamania. All of a sudden he would lose it and scream and yell at his mother if he didn’t get what he wanted. When he wouldn’t, he would desperately call his father for help. Even though his father was nowhere near. His mother tried to keep calm. But it was hard. Oh so hard. Her beautiful little boy would act in ways she had never experienced before and even though she understood him and his reactions, it didn’t make it easier. Sometimes when the Hulkamania was on its worse, she simply wouldn’t know what to do. Everything she seemed to do was wrong. The boy wanted things his way or no way. The mother was tired, every man in her house wanted something from her. Night and day. So the Hulkamania in her son was not always easy to handle. Friends around her kept telling her it was normal and it would pass, but at this moment it was hard to see how and when…

To be continued….